An Angel's (Lack Of) Desire
by Riddikulus-Grin
Summary: He had hoped that it was an "angel thing", despite overwhelming evidence on the contrary (See: Gabriel, Anna), but Castiel's grace was gone, and he was still as asexual as a human as he was as an angel. (Asexual!Cas, Dean/Castiel)


He had hoped that it was an "angel thing", despite overwhelming evidence on the contrary (See: Gabriel, Anna), but Castiel's grace was gone, and he was still as asexual as a human as he was as an angel.

The lack of attraction puzzled him, as everything was _more_ as a human. It was though all his desires, experiences and emotions had intensified and he finally understood how Sam and Dean were able to be so passionate about everything. His feeling for Dean before paled in comparison to this new, human version of himself, where everything was so much more intense.

When he found his way back to the Winchesters, Sam had patted him on the back but Dean had pulled him into a rib-crushing hug.

"I'm sorry." He had whispered into his ear, and Castiel had laughed. What had Dean to be sorry for? He was not to blame for Metatron's betrayal.

Before he had time to wonder if his presence was truly welcome, he had been swept up into the life of a hunter. His time was taken up with motels, car journeys and violence, but with Sam and Dean he found he didn't mind so much.

His relationship with the older Winchester was... tense. He wasn't sure what had caused it, but Dean was even fonder of glaring at him than before - most conversations seemed to end with he entering what Balthazar had once jokingly called a "staring contest", and there was an emotion in Dean's eyes that he couldn't identify.

It wasn't until they had wrapped up the current case, when he was sleepily curled up in a motel bed before they were heading back on the road, that he realised - lust. He had fleetingly seen such an emotion on Meg's face. If Dean, who, to Cas' knowledge, identified as heterosexual, could feel lustful toward Cas' male body, then surely it was possible that this lust was accompanied by something deeper? Something more akin to Castiel's own feelings? The thought made him smile into his pillow.

They were up bright and early the next morning to hunt what Sam suspected was a vampire. Cas didn't see the point of such a small hunt and Dean complained that he wanted to return to the "Batcave" but Sam's insistence was infectious and they were making the four hour journey before they had even had breakfast.

It was a vampire. Well, several vampires. He and Dean were left on watch duty while Sam went inside to flush them out. They waited in silence until they heard a cry of pain from within the building. Dean leaped to attention and Cas followed suit as the three remaining vampires stumbled out into the light. In a flash, Dean was as upon them, catching them by surprise. He had one's head off before they were aware what was happening and kicked it's companion's legs out from under it. The third vampire sprang at Castiel, knocking him onto his back, but he had picked up some fighting tricks already and pushed his legs into the chest of his opponent, giving him enough time to return to his feet. He slammed the syringe of dead man's blood into the vampires neck and it slid to the ground.

He turned. Dean was standing over the second vampire's body, but his eyes were on Cas. "Whoah."

Cas stepped closer to him. "I've been paying attention."

They were doing that staring thing again, standing very close, and Dean was wearing that look. Cas was damned if he was going to put up with the tension any longer.

He closed the gap, pushing his lips to Dean's, in completely foreign territory. There was a moment of inactivity, Cas unsure what he should do next and Dean apparently too shocked to respond. Then Dean murmured something that sounded like "finally" against Cas' lips and his lips were moving against Castiel's. It was unlike anything he had experienced, and Dean's hands were in his hair and his hands were clutching Dean's jacket and somehow he had been backed against the wall and they were still kissing.

There was the sound of something clattering to the ground and they broke apart, looking around in unison. Sam was standing in the entrance to the building, having clearly just dropped his gun. His face was a mixture of shock and smugness.

"I'll be in the Impala."

There was a light blush colouring Dean's cheeks. It was really rather adorable, he mused.

"We'll join you." Said Cas, grabbing Dean's hand to drag him with them, from where he seemed rooted to the spot. Cas tried and failed to ignore the thrill of excitement such a simple gesture bought him, squeezing Dean's hand and feeling the pressure in return.

The short drive back to the motel was silent. Sam kept looking between he and Dean with raised eyebrows, but when he tried to say anything Dean growled "don't you dare" and Sam seemed to be having difficultly forming much of a comment, anyway.

Once let into the room, Sam immediately turned around again, excusing himself to go and buy a takeaway. "You two just carry on with whatever it was you were doing before I interrupted. I'll take as long as I can." He slammed the door behind him.

Cas went to sit down on the bed and Dean joined him. "He's expecting us to have sex." Dean said casually, shifting his positioning so that his side was pressed against Castiel's, but making no other advances. Cas studied his face, but Dean's expression was one of amusement, rather than meaning.

"Huh." He said. Cas kissed him again, experimentally. Dean's eyes now showed arousal, but he still made no advances other than to respond to the kiss. "Do you expect us to have sex?"

"I don't expect anything, Cas."

He tilted his head. "Do you _want_ us to have sex?"

Dean ran a hand through his hair. "Jeez, Cas. I mean, fuck, of course I do. But it's you, so it's different. I don't want to fuck this up."

Castiel felt the corner of his mouth quirk up at that, and a warmness rose in his chest. "Thank you. If it is alright with you, I prefer to abstain from sexual contact. I have no doubt I would find it... unpleasant."

"That's what I thought. Asexual, right?" Cas nodded. Dean chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," but he continued to smile, "never thought I'd see the day I was in a sexless gay relationship with an angel, is all."

"I never thought I would fall from heaven because I was in love with a human male, so I suppose this relationship is unexpected for both of us." Dean's mouth fell open. "What?"

Dean kissed him fiercely but quickly, pulling away to rest his forehead against Castiel's. "Love you too." He breathed.


End file.
